Sophie Laverack opted to move back home after 5 years of teaching English in the Czech Republic. Pulling the plug, she said, was the hardest decision she’d ever had to make, but there comes a time when every expat has to make that crucial decision – plant roots, or pack your bags. But what makes so many expats give up for they love and head back to familiar soil?
In the beginning, it’s easy to see how the adventure will never end. The surroundings are stunning, the work plentiful, and an instant circle of friends is available without effort – largely because they are all in the same travelers boat. Expats move around in their millions all over the world, often to finish a TEFL course and try their hand at teaching English. But according to many hopeful travelers, sooner or later reality tracks you down and throws you the ultimatum – stay forever or start making tracks.
The “three year rule” apparently means that there is a cut off point to an expats adventure, when he or she learns that this is no longer a gap year but life. Many fall in love and marry a local, some manage to scramble their way out of the teaching society and make their way on a more professional path. Others find themselves the last ones standing after their expat family has moved on, and eventually have to accept defeat.
“I really think the three year rule exists” said Sophie, 25, from Yorkshire, England. “People either decide to go long haul and really settle here, or they run out of resources and are forced to leave. It’s very hard to make long term friendships because people are constantly on the go. It gets too much after a while. It gets lonely. Sooner or later everyone is gone and no matter how much you love a place, it’s time to go.”
Terry Constable, a family woman in her late 50s, moved to Prague from the USA in 2010 – not for a naïve expats adventure, but for business. Her husband was relocated by his company, so they set off along with their pet pug, and hoped for the best.
“I think one main reason for going home is that often people (if you’re older) have family members back in their homeland who are elderly and they feel a responsibility to be a bit nearer to them. Two of our parents are still alive, in their 80s and so time spent with them is precious.
She added: “Perhaps, for other people, they tried to make a go of it in the Czech Republic but found it difficult or couldn’t get the right visa. It is a problem for Americans.”
Terry described how going back did not automatically mean settling back in: “Upon returning to the US in July 2012, I’ve found it very difficult to become re-absorbed in where I live again. I’ve gone through the various stages of re-patriation and have found myself in a lengthened grieving period. It’s getting better now but often I remember Prague as a dream.”
Paul Edwards, from Cornwall, moved 115km East of Prague to Hradec Kralove. He now has a 16-month old son with a Czech woman. He said: “It’s true that expats are faced with the three year rule. I think without my son I would have gone a long time ago. It’s simple really, people either settle down here, have families and buy their own furniture, or they stay floating without responsibilities and end up leaving. Without obligations and responsibilities their stay starts to lose meaning. They have a breaking point, and eventually need to search elsewhere for whatever it is they are looking for.”
